Outlier and rebellious veteran, who thinks he is a hero. I am not any of those I claim to be, except in the stories I write. The narrative of my life that never was. The role I played as an actor all these past sixty-something years. I no longer need validation from anyone. Definition of an outlier is defined it here https://www.dictionary.com/browse/outlier.
I have become socially inept. HenceI would prefer a Saturday night watching a documentary to spending a long evening with friends. Even though I love them, they still drain my energy. My introversion has altered over time. I guess all vetarans are ornery. Though, I would love to be able to kiss a woman every now and then. I do not know if that is part of God’s plan for me.
A woman I love most remains distant and disconnected. She and I were a little closer previously, but time has taken its toll on me. She has plenty of love in her life, anyway, while I further ostracize myself from her. I am single without children, which is the price I paid for never committing to a woman in my youth. Too, I fought drug addiction and alcoholism for many years, which made me now ornery. I did not want to put that stress on any woman, which I did anyway. My mother took the brunt of the hurt we both went through. She passed in 2013, and I have been paying for that karma debt ever since then. Even though somewhat of a heretic or outlier, a rebellious veteran I will remain until physical death.
I Am an Outlier and Rebellious Veteran Living and Loving
I got married for the first time in 2014, which happened too quickly. We divorced two years later, when the honeymoon phase was still winding down. She loved me, but I could not reciprocate and was not ready for that marriage, and after I became more of an outlier and rebellious veteran. Some of my friends and family told me that beforehand. I am the giver, and even though she was very empathetic, I lost a lot of everything including the small inheritance my mother left me. Every relationship since then has been full of takers, catfish, gold diggers, scammers, and other people, with parasitic personalities. I agree I can be ornery.
I do not blame all the women I have met or know now for all the problems. Both of my older sisters have been incredibly supportive in many ways. I have had close male friends that have also supported me, too. I did not make it this far all on my own. Today, I had and still have help from veteran administration social workers, doctors, support workers, nurses, and other assistance from both people in various social, medical, and specialized fields. This outlier and rebellious veteran will often be different.
In closing, I may have unfulfilled dreams. I may not have a true love in my life, which may have been a choice I made early on in life. I remain ornery yet resilient to pain and suffering and have become stoic. Trying to remain a man in the worsening storm of life is not easy. There are still challenging times ahead for me. I pray my life will get better. My about page mentions briefly of my veteran status https://paulwylie.net/a-life-not-often-easy/.