Women attract me, but God or my higher self, depending on your beliefs, gave me a gift. It is against the Catholic or Christian doctrine baptized and grew up in. It is the same gift that St. Teresa of Avila received before she passed and honored as a Saint or doctor of the Church. The name of that gift is kundalini awakening, which is Hindu and of Indian origin. Yogis experience it as well as Buddhists monks. It is an initiation of enlightenment. Here is an article from WebMD about attraction.
The feeling is beautiful and it is still available at my calling. The best name I can give this feeling is, “internal cosmic orgasm.” Yes, it seems vile to call it something sexual in nature. The truth is that this awakening is a divine feminine occurrence according to Hinduism and true love is blind. As with St. Teresa is an epiphany or Christian ecstasy. It is a grander and better feeling than any external bodily pleasure I have ever had. Therefore, I am subjective to being a heretic and have already received demonization from Christian women, who attract me believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven for every person. Yes, I get it, and I do not want anyone to change their beliefs because of me, that is for sure. Another post relationship readiness starts with me.
I Do Not Know Why Women Attract Me, But I Do Not Fight It
I was an infant and did not have the choice of baptism as a Catholic Christian, and of course this kundalini awakening was spontaneous and occurred late last year. Therefore, I did the research and found out why. It naturally happened to me for two reasons. First, my many years after the military having mental illness and psychological suffering. This was the first reason. It also tied in with the many years I was going through addiction recovery and remaining sober, which now is about 26 years and one month. Even back when I was a mama's boy, women did attract me.
The second reason is resilience and extreme-self healing, when love for myself was blind. It initially happened in late April of 2023; I walked away from an accident in a work vehicle. I lost a job I was starting to excel at, but the reason for it was that I had left work Friday evening and went straight to help a woman friend recover from March 31st huge tornado that occurred that same year. The accident happened the next Saturday morning as I was taking the work vehicle back to exchange for my own.
I Question Everything and Why This Happened
Anyway, I moved to another city about 150 or so miles from there. I started dating women, who attract After almost a year. and I started having more pain in my shoulder, mostly. I also lost feeling in my right hand. With shoulder surgery scheduled, another sharp pain in my neck came about, so I went to the emergency room in town. The magnetic resonance images revealed I had two crushed disks in the spine of my neck. That surgery was more important than the shoulder one. The neck spinal surgery happened early February 2025. I walked out the next day and went up the steps to my apartment and started recovery. Physical therapists came to my apartment for a while. I went to a local hospital physical therapy clinic too, mostly for my hand, not just my neck or shoulder, later dismissed.
Now, the second reason is extreme self-healing. I researched and did various things to improve physically. Then, I saw an ad on Facebook about doing kundalini yoga for $20, so I tried it. Subsequently, unusual events began to occur, and I experienced sensations associated with the stimulation of my vagus nerve. One evening, this phenomenon distinctly manifested love as blind. My back arched high and I could feel the warmness of cerebrospinal fluid going up through my spine and projecting out the crown of my cranium like a magical show. My mind’s or third eye opened no longer, and it felt pure and good.
The Sensations of Kundalini Awakening Are Amazing
Now, I feel wonderful and am getting better every day. My body is still going through healing after getting medical treatment for the last 43 years , mostly the veterans administration hospitals and clinics.
Life is a process, but I feel that after all of this and receiving individuation or self-actualization. In other words, after experiencing nirvana, I do not need to be in a relationship with a woman again in my life, even though they still attract me.
I found true love and God in myself, but still unless she can match my same exact energy and experience on a similar level, I am fine remaining alone for the rest of my life, not predictably though.