Be a person who takes the blame. The one that can sit silently in a room full of people arguing and not taking anyone’s side on anything. Even if someone asks me what I believe or how I feel, it will be something light-hearted to ease the situation. Everyone wants to be the winner of a debate or argument, and they are usually the loudest. No one wants to take the blame, though.
I know for sure that, as a veteran, I am stuck in the system or the matrix. I do not care about fighting it, but I am learning to master my place in it and the world. It starts with selfless self-love to achieve self-mastery. That self or the ego is an identity attached to me.
Be the Person Who Takes the Blame, But Not Personally
Though, I know for sure that the government only sees me as a number. I am learning quietness and taking life slower. There is no rush for me. As an older man, I am not giving up on myself and my faculties. It is part of learning to oversee my own life without blame. Being alone for so long has made me very independent. Yes, it sucks sometimes not having someone, but all-in-all it gets easier over time.
I am not saying that I want to be alone for the rest of my life. I want to be with someone with whom I see a lot of myself, who sees themself in me. That is rare I guess because most relationships are based on completing yourself with someone. It is not about finding someone who makes me whole. It is not about fulfilling my need either, but it better to settle an argument or fight because I can be the person who takes the blame.
Psychology Today posts an article about how blaming others is a projection.
Settling a Situation Is Often Better Than Arguing
Hopefully, me and her are on the same level of spiritual awakening or close enough to it anyway to recognize that in each other. Even if it is he or another man with whom I have a friendship, I would hope we are similar in thought, spiritually. If you believe in deity or God, then it is best to make any relationship sacred. Also trying to make any of your necessary older relationships better is viable choice. Even within a long-lived kinship with a relative, even if they have not changed much, you can be the one that has changed for the better when you are with them next time. Having no guilt, the new you may make them better, at least when you are with them now. Of course, I may not because they want everything to remain the same as in the past, and that is all right.
Be the change you want to see in the world and people. I know the first part of that last sentence or phrase attributes to Mahatma Gandhi, but it is also relevant to people. Changing yourself in a positive way can be a positive change for someone else without guilt or blame..
Here is another post on living in sin and smugness.