I am nothing to many people, and for me that is wonderful. There are few in my small circle but not one of them, intimately. I have received an offer to have a beautiful life with a woman recently. She said I will not have to worry about anything again, as she has both an entrepreneurial and caring spirit. It shed a tear believing she is interested in someone like me, who is smart but does not have many material possessions. I am trying to survive right now without a high income, but plenty of prayer and hope for the future. Ido not feel that I am nothing spiritually.
My life could become much easier, but I would be in a loving relationship I know if I agreed. I am torn because part of me wants to stay in the struggle. It may be more probable to find a woman, who is simpler and more grounded. One or two women in my life are interested in me romantically. There are one or two others, who are not, yet we are all close platonically. My gut tells me to work on myself some more. That means nothing though I am happy for who I am and how far I have come, especially in relation to people. Here is post about an author's view on his personal nothingness, or his being nothing.
I Am Wonderfully Okay Being Nothing to Many People
Too, I have not given up on myself as a man and still have the physical ability to love a woman like a man is able. This really means I have something and nothing. I do not want to rush into consummation with a woman. At least until marriage or we have dated and been together long enough to be comfortable in making love. I do want God in our relationship. Though, I will not be needy or clingy and do everything she wants me to do. Thus, I must remain myself, and we must communicate everything while I remain nothing. I would like companionship, which is more important, and a woman, who is comfortable with me in the quiet or silent moments of life.
I have nothing to prove to anyone, and I do not need validation. Too, I do not mind if she drinks or smokes marijuana in moderation if that is her thing. I just know that I will not do it again unless it is with her and for a reason we as two mature people both talk about, like dealing with pain or something of that nature.
Moderation Is Key as Well as Good Communication
I am nothing to many people because most people in the world do not even know I exist. I am not leaving a big mark hopefully but maybe a small digital footprint is all. That is fine, and if someone reads my writing after I die, they may see something in it that no one else can.
I will be clear and you must know that everyone cannot read between the lines in the writing of an unknown or unpopular writer. That is all right because I accept that I am human and often fail miserably. A previous post on my own personal journey in the dark night of the soul helped me to understand I am mostly nothing, but not in a negative way.