Healthy relationships are sometimes uncomfortable. Today, I, in a spiritual sense, have learned to accept everyone for who they are. It is not entirely that person’s fault they are that way. If their family, teachers, peers from their youth were that way, then of course, they have some kind of bias based on limitations. I let all that go and understand that everyone is not perfect, including me, but it is okay if you and someone else just cannot get along and connect or be friends. Even if I know in my heart, someone dislikes me, I will still try my best to be kind to them and only communicate if I need to or must.
Why did I idealize romance when I was younger? Well, it is a good feeling to have butterflies and feel a spark or excitement being around someone I really liked. I am sure my eyes dilated a few times with some of the beautiful women I was with in the past. Those ticklish goosebumps, not of fear, but of pure stimulation. For guys, this can happen so quickly, as the blood instantly drains from your head and brain. Thinking stops and pure animalistic urges level up.
Community and family determined marriages of the past. A prince of a wealthy family or nation will usually marry a woman or lady of similar royalty. In other words, the family prearranged many marriages when both were young. Marrying someone for materialistic reasons does not usually have a great outcome either. In my youth, family and friends told me to marry into a wealthy family, but that never did appeal because money is not a high priority for me. Marrying for lust is wrong, but if it is a high value attribute for you, then it is okay. One of the biggest threats in relationships is money or lack thereof. Though, there are poor couples much happier than many of the wealthy couples I have met. So, it is something we must learn to accept, as there are many vows such as whether we become richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health. We know that people are willing to compromise in many cases and figure things out between them. Coming to a point of banality in relationships or marriage can also be a way of creating a better connection.
If you only like someone for a worldly attribute or skill, then of course, it will not last long. Being fake or unrealistic is also a way out. Daydreamers or idealists create in their mind an ideal partner or form an idea of how a relationship should be, only based on their beliefs, no matter how limited those beliefs are.
In conclusion, the healthiest relationships take lots of time to grow. I find this much easier as I get older. It is maturity, which must germinate and propagate into the younger generations and into all people.