Soulmates is a topic of interest in today’s world. They are men, women, and children but with connection in a kind and gentle way. They are people with such deep love for you that anyone outside those relationships does not understand. I have many soulmates that come and go, but I have not found my permanent one woman, soulmate. For some this is a misconstrued idea.

Most men would not believe and accept that their soulmate is a man, but it could be your best friend, who is a man. He may be someone you often spend time with and has similar interests. Your soulmate is not your antagonist. Even if a couple of adults, at first may have several arguments but easily resolved. Too, soulmates are, sometimes depicted as works from God, who are here to give and teach each other something. My soulmate is a perfect idea in Divine Mind and therefore is always in the right place at the right time and divinely protected by God.[1] Having God entirely in the relationship may be important too, which makes having a soulmate less as a misconstrued idea.

A Pact Before This Reality

Men usually do not think of relationships as soulmates, but women, who more commonly read romance novels do fall more into believing they have a soulmate, as if in some idyllic dream of theirs. In the journal of Humanities & Social Sciences Communications, Karin Steen and other authors referenced a soulmate in the following way. Accordingly, de Beauvoir portrays men as remaining ‘sovereign subjects’ within love relationships and are less likely to place their love affairs in the context of long-term visions of perfect harmony (ibid.). Contrastingly, women are represented to be consumed by love and the idea of finding their significant other or soulmate.[2] Wome are more social and readers of romance novels, so that may explain. The term kindred spirit, often considered a confused thought has been around longer than the word soulmate.

Sometimes, women accept that they could go through several or many bad states or relationships before finding their soulmate. It could be that God or by luck, a particular man came into their life at the right time. I had 30 jobs, got fired from some, moved on to others, made money, lost more, met the wrong man, had a beautiful baby and met my soulmate.[3] They may have children with other men before finding that harmonious soulmate relationship, even possibly if they cannot have children anymore.

A Kindred Spirit Can Be a Confused Thought.

The idea of going through many bad relationships before finding the right man is not even in the mind of some women. It is misconstued. Hence, It could be that thought of some having to go through bad karma, from some dreadful things, mostly women, did in their youth. It often, more so than not involves as coming from the Divine, depending on their belief. Many people lose faith when repeatedly faced with the wrong people. They become overwhelmed with worry or panic, unable to decide what to do with their lives. Some people settle for the life they have, adding a pet to get the unconditional love that they want. Other people never give up hope, believing their soulmate is out there.[4] Soulmate is an idea entirely misconstrued.

The most recent new-age spiritualism of law-of-attraction thus formed in the early twentieth century has contributed this thought of having a soulmate. That idea paints a dreamscape of a perfect partner, or even as picture or described by a psychic they visited, previously. My soulmate is in the world and is being drawn to me.[5] There are professionals who believe in soulmates like Dr. Laura Berman at https://drlauraberman.com/here-is-the-true-meaning-of-soulmates-hint-its-not-what-you-think/. For most people, a soulmate or kindred spirit is a confused thought or misconstrued idea.

Two Bodies in One Soul

We all get into fantasies or stories of legends, as if by magic, the right person comes into our lives. As in my marriage, from my former wife’s perspective we were together for about two years, called the “honeymoon” phase and more truths about us showed their ugly head. Even after many years of marriage, some couples ditch the soulmate concept for something more realistic. It is easy a soulmate as a confused thought of idealists or a misconstrued idea.

But the most common myth about marriage is the one revealed by my retreat leader’s friends, the ones who believed that her life must be a tub of butter now that she was married. Wilcox calls this the “soulmate myth.” According to Wilcox, the problem with basing marriage on the idea of finding a “soulmate,” or “a person who gives you an intense emotional and erotic connection, who makes you feel happy and fulfilled,” is its individualism. “As an ideal,” Wilcox argues, the notion of soulmate marriage “can make it more difficult for husbands and wives to embrace a richer, more stable and ultimately more satisfying idea of marriage, beyond the me-first spirit of soulmate love.[6] This notion is usually non-lasting. It falsifies the relationship, but still sometimes couples can work through it. A kindred spirit, even though a confused thought

There Are Various Kinships of Relatives and Non-Relatives

It is even more difficult for a partner whose soulmate commits suicide. That is usually when the thought of having a soulmate ends for them. It is half the story of what happened in ‘Romeo and Juliet.’ The rest of that surviving partner’s life may go into a deep dark depression that they cannot get out of, at times, even after getting professional help. If your soulmate has died by suicide, your grief journey is likely to be especially painful and difficult— more challenging than any other grief you’ve experienced in your life.[7] Yes, we forget that dreams shatter and real things can happen in life, as a wake-up call for the survivor. Of course, the challenge could be from other events or circumstances. Whether you consider a sould and kindred spirit as the same, their meanings are slightly different.

In conclusion, I do not buy into the ‘soulmate’ theory, now. It may have at one or several points crossed my mind. I realistically know that conflict will occur between people in a relationship, the longer it lasts. It may be fear of commitment to avoid a soulmate. With me as an older man, it will take a long friendship before about committing to a personal relationship. Find a soulmate once your feel you do not have to walk your own path alone. As we know, a soulmate is a misconstrued idea in most people’s minds.

Footnotes:

[1] Stevens, Samantha. Creating Love : A Guide to Finding and Attracting Love, Insomniac Press, 2004. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/atpa-ebooks/detail.action?docID=299593

[2] Steen, Karin, et al. “Meanings and Implications of Love: Review of the Scholarship of Love with a Sub-Saharan Focus.” Humanities & Social Sciences Communications, vol. 11, no. 1, 2024, pp. 129. ProQuest, https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/meanings-implications-love-review-scholarship/docview/2916279902/se-2, doi:https://doi.org/10.1057/s41599-023-02504-1

[3] Allis, Janine. The Accidental Entrepreneur : The Juicy Bits, John Wiley & Sons, Incorporated, 2016. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/atpa-ebooks/detail.action?docID=4451894

[4] I Tried Soulmate Voice to Hear what My Soulmate Sounds Like. Black Press Group Ltd, Poulsbo, 2024. ProQuest, https://www.proquest.com/blogs-podcasts-websites/i-tried-soulmate-voice-hear-what-my-sounds-like/docview/3064952257/se-2

[5] Murphy, Dr. Joseph. Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life : Success for Young Adults Through the Power of the Subconscious Mind, G&D Media, 2023. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/atpa-ebooks/detail.action?docID=6846212

[6] Matthew, Elizabeth G. “Review: Debunking Marriage Myths.” America, vol. 231, no. 3, 10, 2024, pp. 1-5. ProQuest, https://www.proquest.com/magazines/review-debunking-marriage-myths/docview/3116729027/se-2

[7] Wolfelt, Alan D. Understanding Your Suicide Grief : Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart, Companion Press, 2024. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/atpa-ebooks/detail.action?docID=516935