Another dark night of the soul, I thought, was occurring. The tears were different this time, and I felt blissful, as if accepting a truth, I knew all along. It was if my pineal gland or third eye blew wide open. In respect to the dark, here is a post about ancient demons and devils.
I had lifted and seen beyond the veil for the first time. It was extremely enlightening. My life felt right for the first time, and I was alone. I now often find this same bliss or lifeforce surging through me with pure love. The best way to describe it is an internal cosmic orgasm, as if God gave me another gift. I feel so blessed to have received a spontaneous spiritual awakening.
Even as we enlighten, we must continue living in the void. The cause of it I knew was from years of mental suffering, and extreme self-healing from a medical procedure early February of last year with two disks in my neck replaced with artificial ones. I can now feel the cerebrospinal fluid moving through that part of my spine, too, with continual healing. I accept that God had something to do with this, or what some, who work in the psychological field would say was my higher self.
Dark Night of the Soul Calls Me Home
Either way, it gave me tremendous insight, wisdom, and the better ability to figure things out. Though, sometimes, I still take dreadful things that happen to me personally like I have done in the past. There is still a little bit of my ego hanging on, but it will not be easy letting it completely go. There are people, I want to be human with and not be above them in any way. We all, at some point, must experience the dark night of the soul.
I am sixty-seven years old, and I would like to have companionship. At least someone, preferably a woman, to be my last love in life. I am not worried about it because there is still time that could happen for me. Thus, I do want to learn new things and do things I have not done before. I want to live without limiting beliefs, but I know many of the women today only want a man, who is Christian. I cannot now say I am or that I am religious, but spiritual is how I feel right now. From what I know, the women wanting relationships are making too many expectations for me, and I am not in any way ready for that kind of relationship. Here is another post of mine about the nonexistence of existence.
The Mind of Man Creates Demons
At this point in my life, I am taking life slowly one day at a time and letting everything happen naturally. Even while living in the now represented as a void. I will not change for anyone, nor do I want anyone to change for me. Though, I want love between me and her, whoever she is to be sacred and not take away any of the bliss I am still receiving. This, for us is going to be a terribly slow process if it is to occur before my physical death, which I know now is an illusion. Glimpses of eternity are very real but not fearful.
