Awakening alone is a complicated process. It is best to navigate it with a mentor who has that knowledge. The Internet is full of misinformation and people are trying to make money from it, which is discouraging. It requires a discipline of self-mastery I have not experienced before. Here is a YouTube video by Alan Watts on why enlightened souls often feel alone. Alan explains why enlightenment is lonely.
The hardest part of this awakening, which mine is kundalini, is the sexual energy it brings. I try my best to avoid habitually entertaining lustful thoughts. My former religion bans and demonizes the act of masturbation, which makes it a mortal sin against God. They know the clergy sins of the flesh. If I do it, it is not because of self-pleasure but because of the need for a release of cortisol and stress into a relaxing state, at least for a little while, especially when I must live in survival mode. Enlightenment is lonely, at first but necessary.
Awakening Alone Is a Complicated Process Difficult to Experience
Believe me, that energy comes back quickly, and I must start the battle again sometimes for days, weeks, or months of sexual abstinence. Semen retention and edging for an older man is quite challenging, especially when I am fully capable of coitus. If I ever get a sexual partner again, we must talk through it and allow it to occur slowly and naturally, and if we both decide to keep any thoughts of consummation on the back burners, that is fine. Of course, at my continued growing age if I do not have sex again, I accept it. Awakening alone is a lonely complicated process for men.
The hope is to find a woman that understands what I am experiencing but still wants to help and care of me for the rest of my life. Of course, a caregiver or companion is okay and someone with whom I can build trust. A previous post has some correlation about suffering before joy,
I know there will be a point in my awakening when things settle, and I am able to live more freely and deeply, mostly from being alone most of the time. I cannot predict what will happen.
Kundalini awakening is troublesome process without someone who has experienced it before and knows the steps to making it easier in every way.
In conclusion, when I complete mine fully, I can teach or guide someone into their epiphany or enlightenment.